Saw this on WBAB radio, Roger & JP’s blog:

I’d rather…

# Get a tobasco sauce enema
# Take a bath with a plugged in toaster
# Give myself paper cuts
# Swallow gasoline and a lit match and see what happens
# Pay my LIPA Bill
# Lay on Rosie O’Donnell’s sweaty flesh while she feasts on greasy pizza
# Watch JOEY on NBC
# Bite my tongue again and again until it bleeds
# Get lost in the mountains of UTAH for 4 days
# Eat dinner off Matt the New Guy’s bathroom floor
# Jump out of a tree and land straddled on top of a picket fence.
# Get a root canal.
# Lay in the street with my teeth on the curb while someone stomps on the back of my head.
# Circumcise myself with a table saw
# Pull my own eye out, eat it and then pour salt in my open wound.
# Puke in my own mouth
# Allow earwicks to crawl into my head, lay eggs, hatch the eggs in my head, and have the larvae crawl out of all my orifices.
# Kiss a leper.
# Infect myself with scabies.
# Watch cute little snuggly puppies get run over by a steam roller
# Shave head with a cheese grater
# Chew on tin foil
# Insert a glass rod into penis hole and smash it with a hammer
# Watch a cow urinate on a flat rock
# Rinse mouth with battery acid
# Watch grass grow and paint dry for a month straight.
# Eat chewing gum covered in hair
# Get a prostate exam
# Dive a space probe into a comet
# Lght my nose hairs on fire one at a time
# Lick dirt off an old tire
# Hit my own eyeball with a ballpeen hammer
# Go shopping at Bed Bath Beyond
# Watch a rat lap up dog vomit.
# Floss my teeth with Janet Reno’s pubic Hair.
# Be the chick in a prison bitch relationship.
# Wrap myself in fireworks and swim in shark infested waters.
# Yell out racially charged remarks in spanish harlem.
# Give my grandfather a reacharound.
# Bob for apples in Yankee Stadiums cesspool.
# Do a gay porn with my dad and watch it with my family on Thanksgiving
# Watch a Dr. Phil marathon
# Walk barefoot on dog shit in wet grass while getting bit by hundreds of mosquitos
# Get shot with rubber bullets by a firing squad while standing on hot coals
# Clean a Giants Stadium urinal with my tounge
# French Kiss Patrick Ewing
# Pass a sofball through my pee hole
# Play pick-up sticks with my butt cheeks
# Go to work
# Wipe my hemroids with sandpaper
# Slide down a 50 foot razor blade into a pit of salt

… than watch “Dancing With The Stars.”